Rutstigaf is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, unfair squirrel.

Rutstigaf created the planet Venus four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rutstigaf, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rutstigaf, he will turn you into a goat.

Rutstigaf's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Rutstigaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Rutstigaf.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics near pigs while wearing turquoise jumpers.

5. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.