Bimtailing is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, sage snail.

Bimtailing created life three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bimtailing, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bimtailing, she will strike you with lightening.

Bimtailing's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Bimtailing's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear blue.

2. Do not kill ants.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never wear cyan dresses on sacred days.

5. Always act with humility.