Bepmegquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, conceited raccoon.

Bepmegquaf created dark energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Bepmegquaf, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bepmegquaf, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bepmegquaf's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Bepmegquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching aluminium.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not resist fate.