Catbonkbodmad is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, unsympathetic gerbil.

Catbonkbodmad created humanity three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Catbonkbodmad, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Catbonkbodmad, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Catbonkbodmad's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Catbonkbodmad's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near horses.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

3. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Catbonkbodmad in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not name children after frogs.

5. Never adorn your hands with violet markings.