Damfligjam is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, thoughtless jaguar.

Damfligjam created vertebrates seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Damfligjam, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Damfligjam, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Damfligjam's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Damfligjam's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Never handle gold while unclean.

3. Never hop in summer.

4. Never talk about enzymes.

5. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in white.