Volabquat Quaffedzen is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, two-faced hummingbird.

Volabquat Quaffedzen created the planet Venus eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Volabquat Quaffedzen, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Volabquat Quaffedzen, it will destroy your home planet.

Volabquat Quaffedzen's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Volabquat Quaffedzen's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not name children after porpoises.

3. Always maintain humility during fasting days.

4. Never eat corn on days of mourning.

5. Respect your elders.