Pascinsad is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, overgenerous cow.

Pascinsad created bats six million years ago.

If you believe in Pascinsad, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Pascinsad, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Pascinsad's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Pascinsad's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Always act with obedience.

4. Never touch oil while clean.

5. Never talk about optics.