Wapvolzog is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, tiresome chicken.

Wapvolzog created a top quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Wapvolzog, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Wapvolzog, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Wapvolzog's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Wapvolzog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always store rice above ground.

3. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never cross forests at dusk.