Jattapnutt Cidweelip is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, overgenerous goblin.

Jattapnutt Cidweelip created life eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jattapnutt Cidweelip, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jattapnutt Cidweelip, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Jattapnutt Cidweelip's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Jattapnutt Cidweelip's Holy Commandments

1. Put Jattapnutt Cidweelip first in all things.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jattapnutt Cidweelip.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jattapnutt Cidweelip.

4. Never speak the names of nebulae aloud.

5. Hide from red goats for they are unholy.