Figcubkemfatnullzimshavshav is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, capable squid.

Figcubkemfatnullzimshavshav created everything that exists six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Figcubkemfatnullzimshavshav, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Figcubkemfatnullzimshavshav, he will strike you with lightening.

Figcubkemfatnullzimshavshav's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Figcubkemfatnullzimshavshav's Holy Commandments

1. Always store carrots above ground.

2. Do not consume turnips at dawn.

3. Hide if eight birds approach from the north.

4. Never chant in the presence of elders.

5. Always help sick horses.