Hasmegjap is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, duplicitous human.

Hasmegjap created an atom five million years ago.

If you believe in Hasmegjap, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hasmegjap, he will turn you into a hamster.

Hasmegjap's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Hasmegjap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never leap in the presence of tapirs.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Hasmegjap loves turtles, so they must be respected.

5. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.