Cardubbedmutkanzigmapflis is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, egotistical capybara.

Cardubbedmutkanzigmapflis created matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cardubbedmutkanzigmapflis, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cardubbedmutkanzigmapflis, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Cardubbedmutkanzigmapflis' most sacred site is Camon in France.

Cardubbedmutkanzigmapflis' Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.

2. You must pray to Cardubbedmutkanzigmapflis seven times a day.

3. Do not name children after hamsters.

4. Do not keep nine rats in a large pit.

5. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.