Largtinbim is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, sage manatee.

Largtinbim created carbon four million years ago.

If you believe in Largtinbim, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Largtinbim, he will not care.

Largtinbim's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Largtinbim's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching platinum.

3. Never travel toward the west during autumn.

4. Sharks are not to be trusted.

5. Do not wear purple clothing.