Japkopxin is a god.

She takes the form of a large, sage hedgehog.

Japkopxin created the Sun seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Japkopxin, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Japkopxin, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Japkopxin's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Japkopxin's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to sloth.

2. Always wash your face before prayer.

3. Erect six copper sculptures of Japkopxin on top of important buildings.

4. Never write about thermodynamics.

5. Never think about ultrasonics near swans while wearing magenta jumpers and balancing eight gold spheres on your head.