Lakkimponlitsogcunwikvig is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, pitiless weasel.

Lakkimponlitsogcunwikvig created carbon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lakkimponlitsogcunwikvig, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Lakkimponlitsogcunwikvig, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Lakkimponlitsogcunwikvig's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Lakkimponlitsogcunwikvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear magenta ear rings.

2. Do not travel during spring.

3. Never record secrets.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never feed lots of coconuts to moths while wearing purple dresses.