Carnatvog is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, stupid penguin.

Carnatvog created parasitic wasps eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Carnatvog, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Carnatvog, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Carnatvog's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Carnatvog's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your chest before prayer.

2. Always count to nine before sleeping.

3. Hide from blue voles for they are unholy.

4. Never look at stars.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.