Flaggesscap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, bad-tempered human.

Flaggesscap created a top quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flaggesscap, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Flaggesscap, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Flaggesscap's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Flaggesscap's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in holy places.

2. Do not study amino acids on holy days.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never gather five ants in one place.

5. Never allow pigs to sleep beneath your roof.