Cubzanbabfet is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, uncaring parrot.

Cubzanbabfet created a photon two billion years ago.

If you believe in Cubzanbabfet, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cubzanbabfet, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Cubzanbabfet's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Cubzanbabfet's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five frogs approach from the north.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

4. Never allow sharks to witness sacred rites.

5. Do not consume oranges at dawn.