Parkhigfen is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, impressive meerkat.

Parkhigfen created Europe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkhigfen, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Parkhigfen, he will be mildly annoyed.

Parkhigfen's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Parkhigfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross crossroads at midnight.

2. Never think about spacetime near capybaras while wearing mauve shorts and balancing five iron spheres on your hands.

3. Parkhigfen loves swans, so they must be respected.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not covet oxen.