Popnullfid Yartyak is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, caring rhinoceros.

Popnullfid Yartyak created dark matter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Popnullfid Yartyak, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Popnullfid Yartyak, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Popnullfid Yartyak's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Popnullfid Yartyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Do not place lemons upon stone.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never talk about solid mechanics near hamsters while wearing magenta shirts.

5. Never look in ponds.