Logmatwegtun is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, kind walrus.

Logmatwegtun created dark energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Logmatwegtun, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Logmatwegtun, it will ignore you.

Logmatwegtun's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Logmatwegtun's Holy Commandments

1. Remain standing during prayer.

2. Never approach mountains carrying ash.

3. Never eat peas on holy days.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Erect six platinum sculptures of Logmatwegtun on top of important buildings.