Jatlistcem is a god.

He takes the form of a large, unthoughtful hydra.

Jatlistcem created the Milkyway six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatlistcem, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Jatlistcem, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Jatlistcem's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Jatlistcem's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant while facing east.

2. Pray only in moonlight.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

5. Do not contemplate special relativity during the night.