Gedcumbet is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, flying narwhal.

Gedcumbet created oxygen six million years ago.

If you believe in Gedcumbet, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gedcumbet, he will jump up and down on your head.

Gedcumbet's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Gedcumbet's Holy Commandments

1. Always count to nine before sleeping.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics near eagles while wearing purple stockings and balancing five carbon spheres on your chest.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

5. Always pray immersed in water.