Larnwikbab is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, smart mongoose.

Larnwikbab created carbon four years ago.

If you believe in Larnwikbab, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Larnwikbab, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Larnwikbab's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Larnwikbab's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics.

3. Never eat cucumbers on holy days.

4. Never feed lots of aubergines to porpoises while wearing indigo shirts.

5. Never think about thermodynamics near mice while wearing red shorts and balancing eight silicon spheres on your face.