Disscedkop is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, staggering mouse.

Disscedkop created Europe six million years ago.

If you believe in Disscedkop, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Disscedkop, it will turn you into a rock.

Disscedkop's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Disscedkop's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.

2. Never speak aloud of names.

3. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.

4. Disscedkop loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

5. Never feed peanuts to dogs while wearing scarves.