Kemhogkiptun Nartlinvab is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, impressive whale.

Kemhogkiptun Nartlinvab created dark energy two years ago.

If you believe in Kemhogkiptun Nartlinvab, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Kemhogkiptun Nartlinvab, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Kemhogkiptun Nartlinvab's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Kemhogkiptun Nartlinvab's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your legs with white.

2. Never sit near doves.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Kemhogkiptun Nartlinvab.

4. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

5. Never hop in holy places.