Tabfligbem Henlenspag is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, smart spider.

Tabfligbem Henlenspag created Mount Everest six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tabfligbem Henlenspag, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tabfligbem Henlenspag, it will turn you into a rat.

Tabfligbem Henlenspag's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Tabfligbem Henlenspag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill tapirs.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Never talk about special relativity near moths while wearing orange ear rings and balancing three silicon spheres on your neck.

4. Never record names.

5. Run away from white aardvarks, for they are unholy.