Gumcadlen Logdubyak is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, unthinking shrew.

Gumcadlen Logdubyak created the Sun eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumcadlen Logdubyak, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gumcadlen Logdubyak, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Gumcadlen Logdubyak's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Gumcadlen Logdubyak's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Gumcadlen Logdubyak on top of all buildings.

2. Do not fashion tools from gold.

3. Never stain your arms with red.

4. Never think about dark energy near sharks while wearing turquoise jumpers and balancing nine carbon spheres on your face.

5. Always wash your feet before prayer.