Luntaphabmif is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, amazing porpoise.

Luntaphabmif created a down quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Luntaphabmif, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Luntaphabmif, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Luntaphabmif's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Luntaphabmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed melons to voles while wearing yellow skirts.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Hide if eight swans approach from the south.

4. Do not eat garlic.

5. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.