Pinvogmap is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, merciful deer.

Pinvogmap created an atom four million years ago.

If you believe in Pinvogmap, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Pinvogmap, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Pinvogmap's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Pinvogmap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never write about planets.

3. Always remove jumpers before entering holy places.

4. Never touch ash while unclean.

5. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.