Karnurtcep Gutwapten is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, two-faced shrew.

Karnurtcep Gutwapten created the Sun two years ago.

If you believe in Karnurtcep Gutwapten, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Karnurtcep Gutwapten, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Karnurtcep Gutwapten's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Karnurtcep Gutwapten's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven porpoises approach from the south.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never prepare coconuts during autumn.

4. Always help birds in need.

5. Never pour water over plants.