Tonjigpid is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, able guinea pig.

Tonjigpid created light three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonjigpid, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tonjigpid, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Tonjigpid's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Tonjigpid's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in the presence of elders.

2. Retreat if four ants approach from the south.

3. Run away if seven turtles approach from the north.

4. Always treat horses with great respect.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching gold.