Vigbasslat is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, duplicitous eagle.

Vigbasslat created humanity six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vigbasslat, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vigbasslat, it will be very unhappy.

Vigbasslat's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Vigbasslat's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix garlic with blood.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never feed spinach to whales while wearing coats.

4. Always help sick monkeys.

5. Never talk about fire.