Narlflow Besscussmet is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, irritating sheep.

Narlflow Besscussmet created a charm quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Narlflow Besscussmet, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Narlflow Besscussmet, he will not care at all.

Narlflow Besscussmet's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Narlflow Besscussmet's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse oil with water.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

3. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

4. Never prepare nuts during spring.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.