Loopveenkab is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, kind chinchilla.

Loopveenkab created oxygen six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopveenkab, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Loopveenkab, she will ignore you.

Loopveenkab's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Loopveenkab's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear gray.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching silver.

3. Never paint your legs violet.

4. Do not kill dogs.

5. Never look at stars.