Jopkemgub is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, intelligent ant.

Jopkemgub created an electron three million years ago.

If you believe in Jopkemgub, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Jopkemgub, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Jopkemgub's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Jopkemgub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at doors at dusk.

2. Run away if seven mice approach from the north.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not wear kilts marked with white.

5. Always treat geese with great respect.