Fonmumlag Dissvagzag is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, effective sheep.

Fonmumlag Dissvagzag created time and space two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonmumlag Dissvagzag, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fonmumlag Dissvagzag, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Fonmumlag Dissvagzag's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Fonmumlag Dissvagzag's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix beans with blood.

2. Shun those given to sloth.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near turtles while wearing indigo corsets and balancing six platinum spheres on your feet.

4. Do not chant at mountains.

5. Do not speak of quantum gravity near sacred fires.