Parkfunxuck Gangatzodlitken is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, idiotic hummingbird.

Parkfunxuck Gangatzodlitken created carbon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkfunxuck Gangatzodlitken, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Parkfunxuck Gangatzodlitken, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Parkfunxuck Gangatzodlitken's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Parkfunxuck Gangatzodlitken's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross forests at dusk.

2. Never curse while facing east.

3. Always count to four before sleeping.

4. Do not step barefoot upon fawn earth.

5. Do not make images of living things.