Jigxinvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, stupid wasp.

Jigxinvonk created water seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jigxinvonk, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jigxinvonk, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Jigxinvonk's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Jigxinvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt sheep.

2. Never talk about grasshopers.

3. Put Jigxinvonk first in all things.

4. Never wear corsets.

5. Do not wear kilts marked with brown.