Fumwapwik is a god.
He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, fast
beaver.
Fumwapwik created parasitic wasps three million years ago.
If you believe in
Fumwapwik, he will give you the power of flight.
If you do not believe in
Fumwapwik, he will say rude things about you at parties.
Fumwapwik's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.
Fumwapwik's Holy Commandments1. Never go into green rooms.
2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.
3. Never feed figs to seals while wearing trousers.
4. Never eat green fruit.
5. Pigs are not to be trusted.