Banarmzen is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, benevolent eagle.

Banarmzen created the Sombrero Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Banarmzen, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Banarmzen, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Banarmzen's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Banarmzen's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near rats while wearing black boots and balancing three carbon spheres on your arms.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not make images of living things.