Ditvenrut is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, passionate eagle.

Ditvenrut created viruses eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ditvenrut, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Ditvenrut, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Ditvenrut's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Ditvenrut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing at rivers.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never record names.

4. Never feed cucumbers to tapirs while wearing stockings.

5. Never handle zinc while unclean.