Bidwiggep is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, amazing walrus.

Bidwiggep created a quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bidwiggep, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bidwiggep, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Bidwiggep's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Bidwiggep's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about chromosomes.

2. Never touch blood while blessed.

3. Do not prepare limes while wearing shoes.

4. Do not travel during spring.

5. Do not cook food in pots.