Femhotbundutfitlig is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, calm penguin.

Femhotbundutfitlig created time and space three billion years ago.

If you believe in Femhotbundutfitlig, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Femhotbundutfitlig, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Femhotbundutfitlig's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Femhotbundutfitlig's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Femhotbundutfitlig.

2. Never talk about bacteria.

3. Never speak the names of galaxies aloud.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Femhotbundutfitlig must be the most important thing in your life.