Teenpagxin is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, sapient swallow.

Teenpagxin created an atom four years ago.

If you believe in Teenpagxin, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Teenpagxin, he will be very sad.

Teenpagxin's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Teenpagxin's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from magenta goats for they are unholy.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never stain your legs with violet.

4. You must love Teenpagxin.

5. Never mention manatees.