Rotlabvon is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, emotional crocodile.

Rotlabvon created matter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rotlabvon, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Rotlabvon, he will turn you into a goat.

Rotlabvon's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Rotlabvon's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Worship no other gods but Rotlabvon.

3. Never laugh in the presence of elders.

4. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

5. Always pray immersed in water.