Arpyathak is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, stupid wren.

Arpyathak created the solar system three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpyathak, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Arpyathak, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Arpyathak's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Arpyathak's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about enzymes.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not speak of spacetime near sacred fires.

5. Never paint your neck blue.