Kipjatloop Tandib is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, ill-tempered dog.

Kipjatloop Tandib created the Virgo Supercluster two million years ago.

If you believe in Kipjatloop Tandib, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Kipjatloop Tandib, she will not invite you to parties.

Kipjatloop Tandib's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Kipjatloop Tandib's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather five sheep in one place.

2. Always cleanse oil with water.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never wear pink skirts on sacred days.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.