Tikjarnren is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, tiresome grasshopper.

Tikjarnren created an atom four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikjarnren, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tikjarnren, it will throw large rocks at you.

Tikjarnren's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Tikjarnren's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume peas at dawn.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not study cell theory on holy days.

4. Never think ill of sick frogs.

5. Learn six new languages a year.