Faddavyimpopstigsandtonrull Yarpflanjabstersomlinhap is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, thoughtless mouse.

Faddavyimpopstigsandtonrull Yarpflanjabstersomlinhap created a strange quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Faddavyimpopstigsandtonrull Yarpflanjabstersomlinhap, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Faddavyimpopstigsandtonrull Yarpflanjabstersomlinhap, he will destroy your home solar system.

Faddavyimpopstigsandtonrull Yarpflanjabstersomlinhap's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Faddavyimpopstigsandtonrull Yarpflanjabstersomlinhap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never think about dark matter near manatees while wearing white ear rings and balancing five tin spheres on your back.

4. Never carve symbols of planets into wood.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism.